Wednesday, May 13, 2009

i think i'm milton...

So almost everyone in our generation can appreciate the movie Office Space. Right? It probably sums up how most of us feel going into work every day... walking into that endless farm of cubes, the memos, the bosses, the misery of it all. And in this economy, yes I know we should all just be grateful to have a job.

However, just because I'm thankful for my job, doesn't mean that there aren't times I don't want to make an attempt to jump out of my window... which really wouldn't work since I work in a one story, free standing building and my window is floor to ceiling and looks out onto a field of grass. And sometimes ducks. I think the only way I could actually do harm to myself is if I made it out the window and the ducks happened to be rabid, quite feasible really.

On to my point. Thanks to recent occurrences at my company, I am now Milton. I even have the red Swingline stapler (it was a "yay you got your first professional job" present from ed right after i graduated from grad school) it rocks my world. Everyone envies it.

I think I'm Milton, not because of the stapler, or because ironically I happen to be wearing my glasses today, but because I am moving offices, yet again. Pretty sure my desk will now face a mindless taupe wall in a corner. I'm also getting a new office mate, someone I know well, and I'm not sure how I feel about this. Contrary to how I am about most things, I'm actually pretty laid back and even keel at work. I roll with the punches... the person I will share with... yeahhhh, not so much. I like a drama free work environment. You see I am the head of my department, only because I am the only one in my department. I just do my thing, mind my business and try and stay out of the way. It's how I roll as a professional.

I have two bosses, which amazingly have stayed the same my entire stint here. My bosses are the second in command over everything here and the sales manager. However, with this move, I'm not sure everyone will share this opinion... coughahem... if you're smellin' what I'm steppin' in (okay to be more obvious, new office mate might come under the impression they are in charge of me.)

Despite my rolling with the punch-iness..... Interwebs, I think it's time to fight for my rights. Otherwise I'm going to end up being bossed around and officing on the loading dock surrounded by creepy old billboard cutouts and posters the size of a semi-truck... with no electricity, or heat, or air, or humans, just rats and a little lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Just like Milton.

I'm going to need lots of pencils, seeing how they are really useful for shoving into my eyeballs when miserable at work. Apparently, starting tomorrow, I say goodbye to drama free, bring on the pencils... Sigh. As if it weren't getting depressing enough around here.

I was told I could listen at a reasonable volume. My stapler. I said no salt. I will burn this place down.



15 comments:

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

"I am the head of my department, only because I am the only one in my department" Ok this line totally stuck out among ALL of the other HILARIOUS words in the AMAZING post! I am truly laughing in my cube, the vision of you on the loading dock in the dark...LOL..

Fight for your rights baby!! Man does cube land get your down.. I just got back for vacation and I am already burnt out...must be the lack or privacy and florescent lighting..

Ummmmm you're gonna need to come in on Saturday... Yeah..

IzzyBubbles said...

Ummm...yeah...we're gonna need those TPS reports. riiiightt.

Marlene said...

I haven't watched Office Space in YEARS! Hilarious post. But seriously, I hope it all works out over there. I don't deal well with change myself.

Jerf_USMC said...

This makes me uber sad!!! Who am I going to "ert berf" with? In my opinion, you are way over qualified to be doing the job you are doing anyway, and I fully support any decision you make regarding leaving the cube farm. It is a major depressant! I miss ya already, and will undoubtedly miss you even more when/if you leave. Long live the Nerd Corps!!

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Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

Hahahahaha

Jerf_USMC said...

That didnt work.. this is more like it..

01000010 01100101 01110010 01101011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01100101 01110010 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100001 00100001

californiameaghan said...

i got your flair right here...

onelittletrigirl said...

At my work we are constantly quoting Office Space and I use the Milton stapler line quite often! Never gets old!

On a serious note, I hope things look up for you on the work front!

Ashley said...

This reminds me of this time here at work when we had this training class to go over a new database. Well, the database has a tab called "conclusions." Everytime the trainer said "Let's jump over to conclusions" my friend Brandon and I complete LOST IT!!!

You know, when I get down about work, I just don't go. I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. I'm just gonna stop going.

Oz Runner said...

yeah, I'm going to need you to come into work tomorrow...I'm also going to need you to come into work Sunday...

I wouldn't say I've been "missing work" Bob...

Rookie on the Run said...

I'm really going to have to watch that movie again! I only sort of watched it once (I was distracted, I guess).

So funny about the rabid ducks! I hope that doesn't happen.

I think it would be in your best interest to use crayons in your little cubical. At least they do less damage when you put them in your eye.

Good luck with your new cell...er, CUBE mate!

Emily said...

Awww, that's the worst. I'm sorry, what a crappy situation. You should take home the copy machine tonight and beat the living hell out it..... -e

RunToFinish said...

aww I'm sorry. I had a job i hated and was lucky enough to get fired, so that I could move on to a job I really love.

Irish Cream said...

Is it wrong that I spend most days sending half-serious violence- and anger-filled emails to other miserable co-workers with the hopes that I might be laid off? I know, I know . . . so horrible to say right now, but sister, I FEEL your pain!

"Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window."

Yup, that just about sums up my career right there!

T-Bone said...

"PC load letter...what the F*** does that mean?"

Seriously though Beka, what if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?