Tuesday, August 18, 2009

best part of my day (and warts)...

Sleeping in, the rainy-fall-feeling day and the email I got from my University boss saying my next class is cancelled. I know it's good experience to teach as many courses as I can, but dang it if I'm not a little burnt out. So now I won't be teaching again until October, and I can concentrate on MAYBE training for a marathon.... we'll see how the little Wichita Half vs. FWR showdown goes next month. Then I'll decide for sure.

A not so great part of my day though is the fact that my right foot is about to 'esplode. I haven't talked about this on my blog yet due to the fact that it's gross, but I figured since I went all out and talked about poop and parasites and ya'll stuck around, I have nothing to lose.

Here's the thing. I have warts. On the top of my right foot. I've tried over and over through numerous doctor appointments to have these gross little suckers annihilated, so far no luck. For FOUR YEARS they continue to come back, bigger and badder each and every time. They seriously have minds of their own... They are heinous... and I will spare you photos. Unless you want to see them, just let me know and I'll be happy to post (i actually find them a bit fascinating sometimes, but i also love popping zits soo.... ). Actually Kristen the Running Lawyer has affectionately deemed my foot quasimodo.

To continue, the quasimodo warts are not run of the mill every day plantar warts. They have teeth, and hair and they talk to me NON-STOP... that's the main reason I'm so over them. They simply won't shut up, all... ummm hey you might not want to wear those jeans. Ever again. Oh and how- a-bouts if you go ahead and DON'T wear those stinky parasitic flip-flops, and for God's sake get a pedicure. See. Annoying.

My point is, the serious taming of the quasimodo has begun, it started six weeks ago when I went to a dermatologist and he explained how we are going to get rid of these suckers, he is the areas top wart expert (so i'd like to think). I go in every two weeks, they put some stuff on my warts (no burning or lasering) and wrap them up and send me on my way. This is a treatment that takes up to four months, but it doesn't scar (I already have bad scars from all the burning attempts) and 60% of the time, it works every time....

The first few hours after a treatment my foot will feel a little burny-like. Then... THEN after about six hours the agony begins. The itching, the burning the feeling like my foot is going to fall off, it all starts and doesn't stop for two days. It is miserable. It has never been so bad as it was last night, I was ready to go and shove my foot in the freezer's ice maker bucket thing. I was literally laying in bed at 3a thinking the only way to get rid of the flaming pain is to stick my foot in ice. I never did it. But needless to say I hardly slept so I am pooped out today. And my foot is swollen and itches like mad. All of this, to get rid of the warts for good with no scarring, and warts that hurt when I run no less.

Cheers to a happy running tuesday! Me and quasimodo the wart foot are going to pass on running today, but feel free to offer me a mile, because if the swelling and throbbing and oozing doesn't go away, I'm probably not going to run for a few more days. But I'll keep you posted! YUM. Instead I'm going to get a deep tissue massage after work. And yes, be assured I will tell my massage therapist ALL about quasimodo.

14 comments:

RunnuRMark said...

Oh...oh my God...yep, I just threw up in my mouth a little. Let's just go ahead and pass on the pictures if you would.
Hey, good prank though...ask for a foot massage today and see what kind of reaction you get when they see it! (capture on film if possible)

X-Country2 said...

Sounds like quite the epic battle. Good luck!

ShutUpandRun said...

If you get some good puss I might like it for my pancakes. Good luck with them warts!

Marlene said...

My Mom has awful warts on her feet and seems to be going through something similar. I feel for you! I really hope these treatments work!!!

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

"and 60% of the time, it works every time...." UGH!! I had one on my thumb which made me self-conscious to hold hand with boys in Jr. High LOL..

The only thing I can think of during this post was the weird ad with the talking thing...I want to say it was for a food place... Hmmmm...will have to dig it up. I remember thinking I would not eat there because the mascot thingy freaked me out.

Best Of luck...I will toss a mile your way today.

FYI package on the slow boat to Wichita.. :)

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

"Ohh, it's the deep burn. Oh, it's so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand."

Hugs, Mel!!!

californiameaghan said...

krish has done some good surgery on some "skin issues" that i have had - one really nasty wart on my leg that doctors couldnt get rid of any other way. she's darn good, that sister of yours.
i miss her. and you.

Ace said...

One mile donated to the cause. Hang in there!

Irish Cream said...

Oh no! Good luck with the wart thing! I really hope the treatments work considering how painful/uncomfortable that sounds!

Also, I am still freaking out about the parasites/worms issue. I am ordering this shizz pronto (and just closing my eyes and flushing whenever I pass anything--yuck!):

http://www.drnatura.com/

HA, check out the photo gallery (but NOT while eating!). It's SICCCKKKK. As gross as it is to think that that crap (ha--funny) might come out of me, I figure it's probably better than it being IN my body, right? RIGHT? EW.

J said...

Good luck with those warts girly! I hate those!

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

stupid warts. My daughter was battling those for a few months. Finally won!

D10 said...

Sorry to hear about the foot battle. It doesn't sound fun at all. Oh, are you still collecting sneakers?

B.o.B. said...

OMG! Hilarious. Talking warts, Anchorman reference. Love it.

Sorry about your pain though and the no running part. Hope they get gone soon!

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