The Oklahoma City Marathon, I thought that was humbling. That amount of humbling is nothing compared to what I'm about to embark on. Me, the girl who has run 30 races over the past four years (no i don't mean that to sound cocky).... wait, I have something to say here.
RANDOM THOUGHT ALERT: yes, I know to some those 30 races consisting of multiple 5ks, 10ks, 10 milers, two milers, half marathons and only the one marathon,...well to some those are no big deal because there aren't multiple marathon notches in my running belt, which might cause some to think or act like I'm not a legitimate runner. I may do every other distance, but since I can't marathon that means I can't really run. But I am really proud of those 30 races, despite what distance they are. And no, I don't expect you to be as proud as I am, but the time and effort, the fun and friendships, the memories and lessons I have in all of them, I think that still legitimately qualifies me as being a runner. And a damn accomplished one.
Back on track. The big humble slap in the face. Me, non-marathoning runner girl since 2004, is starting from scratch. In about two weeks I will begin walking. Then in January I will start a beginning runners training program. Now that's some humble friends. Give me my 'piddly little a five hour marathon humble pie' over having to start over in running any day.
It's not what I would choose to do, because I know if I wanted to go and run 10 miles tomorrow, I could do it (again not being cocky, just honest). It might get ugly, and be painfully slow (not that i'm fast anyway) but it would get done. Instead. I will walk. Then I will run/walk. Then I will run. And hope this approach does the trick and keeps me healthy. One thing is definite... through my physical therapy the last six weeks, my perspective on running has done a 180. And it's what I've needed for about three years now.
But dang it if I don't go out there and become the best damn walker and beginning runner anyone has ever seen. I may have new perspective, but I still have a hell of a lot of determination. And clearly no shame.
So cheers to starting over. Washing the slate clean and starting fresh in 2010. With fresh new legs and fresh new perspective and fresh new moral support. I'm just thankful I have some people behind me telling me I can run, and believe I have the ability to run fast, and teaching me to believe that myself. Even if it isn't in a marathon. Running doesn't define me. But I sure am excited to see what it has in store for me in 2010.