Friday, April 10, 2009

ummmm, that was awwwwkkkwaarrrd...

The running Jessica, the running lawyers and myself all met for a sushi lunch the other day. Somehow we landed on the topic of awkward massage moments. We have all had them right? You know you go in looking forward to a nice relaxing hour or so and then a bomb drops, like a male massage therapist gets a bit to close to certain areas, or the therapist sneezes and you hope to God they did that into their arm not the hand they are rubbing your body with.

Or you have some therapist who manages to bring you to tears during a deep tissue and simultaneously telling you that you should probably give up running and just swim. And then tells you to buy lots of supplements, bath soaks and soothing shoulder/foot wraps from the spa. Fabulous, exactly what I want to hear when someone is ripping my IT band away from my bone (or whatever it's connected to, I'm a graphic designer, I can never even remember the difference between my quad and hamstring).


However, that deep tissue doesn't begin to compare to my most recent experience. Upon recommendation I went to have a $25 'student massage.' Which wasn't all bad. A girl about half my size comes out to get me. This poor 80-pound massage student looked a little confused when I told her my piriformis had been hurting and I would like her to work on it (please note during deep tissue massage, therapist at least knew what she was doing). She starts the massage and all is well and fine. UNTIL. She pulls back the sheet to work on my piriformis... ummmm every other time I've had that done, the sheet stays over me. It was all I could do as I felt this poor girl start 'working' (i am using this term loosely) on said muscle using all of two fingers to awkwardly make circular motions on that area. I just tried to keep from laughing from the thought that kept going through my mind, her looking away at the ceiling with a grimace on her face as she uncomfortably 'works' on me.


So AWWWWWKKKKKWWAARRRRRRD.....

In other awkward news, after said VERY breif thunderstorm last evening (it ended right after I posted about it), it ended up snowing over night. Yep, there was snow on my front lawn this morning. Ridiculous.

More awkward news you ask? You get it then. So you know this whole "calf issue" thing I've been dealing with? Ummmm, yeahhhh. Well, you see the thing is I have a slight aversion to "calves" in general. I hate touching or having mine touched. You know some people hate feet? I hate calves. I don't know why. Ed is more than aware, he learned quickly to NEVER mess with my calves. I have since been able to handle having them massaged, but that is about it. If I even think about it later, I get creeped out. Oh don't judge, everyone has their "weird thing" mine just happens to be calves.

That said, since having this little calf issue, I haven't once touched my calf, unless you count washing or shaving it, in which they are never actually really touched by my hands. I put lotion on every morning, and even that is done very carefully. However, this morning I was sitting on the couch and happened to accidentally apply a little pressure while applying lotion to my calves and I felt a HUGE knot in my calf. See where getting creeped out by calves gets you? Yeah, not realizing you have a gigantic KNOT in it for three weeks. Nice Robinson. I even let Ed touch it, I was all... FEEL THIS. I think the fact that I shoved my calf at him stunned him into silence, he didn't really know what to do. But when he finally realized I was BEGGING him to check it out and he wouldn't get back-handed, he could feel it as well.

Luckily my preferred massage place could get me in for a quick 30 minute deep tissue after work. SWEET. I have a busy night and a 10K to run tomorrow morning (with a 6 miler to get in before the race). EEK! So hopefully this will do the trick.

And no Friday photo, I know. I do have a good one for you next week though, yes you asked for it, another AT&T style cousin line-up! Wow this was a long post. Happy Easter interwebs!

11 comments:

IzzyBubbles said...

Hilarious. I'm cracking up just picturing it. Then she probably went back and told all the other students how gross it was that you asked her to massage your butt!! hahahhahahaa.

X-Country2 said...

Ha. Student messages are such a mixed bag. You never know what that $25 will get ya!

Ashley said...

This post got several LOLs out of me, hahahaha! Seriously...my desk partner keeps looking at me. :)

Mel (TMOTR) said...

What the calf? It is sooo funny to hear that others are as quirky as I am.

Good luck on your race.

:)

Mel

aron said...

haha this had me cracking up!

hope a massage does the trick on your calf!!

teacherwoman said...

You have a KNOT in your CALF that you can feel? YOUCH!

Too funny about the massage... and awkward!

Kristi @ Sweet Cheeks said...

Haha, love this post!!

I will try and keep an eye out for you guys at the sunrun tomorrow...it would be neat to meet some bloggers! I am planning on getting there early so I can watch some of the 10k. Dang, you are hardcore, running 6 miles BEFORE the actual race!! That is awesome!

Melanie said...

definitely an awkward massage moment.. not sure i would have been able to contain my laughter. Hope the massage helps the calf, and yep, i can't stand feet.

Marlene said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog. Adding you to my list. :)

Have a great weekend!

(That's hysterical, btw!)

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

you made me laugh. guess you get what you get for $25. lol

RunToFinish said...

ohhh my, I've really never had an awkward massage, just a couple bad ones