dirty little secret.

Well, it's time to admit this blahgesphere. I sure am going to run a marathon next month. No, no, not a 1/2... a full.

Yeah, 26.2 in Oklahoma City. I've been keeping it quiet on my blog because there is no better way to put it other than I'm kinda nuts. I've been really paranoid and superstitious about training for it and trying for redemption no less, from last year...THAT marathon. I kept telling myself after I ran 16 miles I'd really admit I'm running the marathon, then 16 came and went, 18 came and went, 20 came and went and I still couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe I can't really even think it myself, just in case I somehow screw it up and have a massive fail. Again.

CRRAZZZYYYYYYY! This girl. Right. But seeing how that Oklahoma City Marathon is just 30 days away, and if I get really hurt now I'll whine about it on my blog anyway, I figured why not go ahead and throw it out there. Put my huge fear of failure out there for all of you. You're welcome. I've just been so worried about jinxing myself, or getting really injured again, and the failure uuugghhh the thought of failure, all of it somehow in my mind made it seem that if I didn't blog about it, it would all be okay. And for the most part, it has been. And now I just feel like an idiot for not talking about it. Also an idiotic move on my part? Anyone could have gone and looked at my workout stats on the side bar of my blog and noticed the length of my runs, not that people stalk my workouts, just sayin'....

However, what's funny is that almost everyone I talk to on a regular basis sure has known for awhile and have been really supportive through this whole process. And a few randoms I've run into along the way, just because I needed to vent or talk about it. Telling them didn't make my training go to poo, so I was safe there. I have had a few hip and knotted up leg blips, but nothing major. I do know the people who have known have been nothing less than spectacular in being supportive of my whiny fears and issues in regard to the whole thing.

I did have to start admitting it to my friends when I mentioned how I ran with The Lawyer and they knew how far she was running that day and would question me about it. Even The Lawyer stopped saying how many miles she actually ran with me on her blog and otherwise, because I'M JUST THAT NUTS that I asked her not to. She seriously needs an award for putting up with me. So it's official. I am nuts and I am also running a marathon next month, with The Lawyer (i hope we hold hands the whole time). Do I need to cyber shout that, I think I do. Because I'M RUNNING A MARATHON next month.

So I'm going to close my eyes and use all my guts to hit 'publish post' and pray that I don't end up injured later this week.... it's been established many times in this post already that I'm crazy. I mentioned that, right? Crazy and superstitious and paranoid.

Here's to running marathon No. 2! And hopefully getting a big fat dose of redemption while I'm at it!