Saturday, September 12, 2009

i hope oprah doesn't eat me.

As I made note of earlier, I am going to Chicago next month. My biggest fear isn't that I'll cry while volunteering at the marathon, still be on crutches, eat too many chicago dogs or that I won't want to leave. EVER. No, it's that Oprah is going to hunt me down and eat me. First, because I am quite delicious, secondly mostly because Oprah, in my opinion, is bat piss crazy. Period. So why wouldn't she hunt down a random tourist for a mid-afternoon snack? Yeah, not an Oprah fan. I realize by writing that last sentence I risk losing blahggie buddies, but hey.. it's a risk I'm willing to take.

That is all. Thank you blaghesphere.

Oh wait. One more thing. This is what my yesterday afternoon looked like. Go to Doctor. Doctor said it's probably not a stress fracture. Told to ice, ibuprofen, rest and if it's not better come back in yet another week to check for stress fracture. Freak out and have total and utter meltdown on the way back to work from doctor. Get to work. Proceed to freak out about almost everything in my life and have internal meltdown while smiling and nodding at everyone. Go home. Open bottle of wine alone because Ed went to Oklahoma. Fall asleep on couch covered in Nutter Butter crumbs and spilled wine. Life is good....

Also. I still hate James Taylor. And SOMEONE is poking the bear on Twitter in regard to Oprah and James Taylor BOTH, it's like the perfect storm. I have a bag of vomit and animal poop ready and waiting to hop on the aeroplane to Chicago with me. BRING IT.

19 comments:

kristen said...

I'm not an Oprah fan either. I really really don't understand what the fuss is about. And just once, I'd like to see her stupid magazine at the checkout counter WITHOUT A PICTURE OF HERSELF. Seriously, what's that all about. Concieted much. If anybody leaves you for not being an Oprah fan - good riddance and grow up!

californiameaghan said...

i really really like you.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

You are 3 shades of crazy my friend... So sorry that the Doctor did NOTHING!! Waiting ANOTHER week would be maddening..(sp?)

IzzyBubbles said...

I'm pretty sure you could still run faster than Oprah, even on crutches. If all else fails, just use the crutches as a weapon. Remember, you don't have to be the fastest person in the group when running away from a hungry Oprah, just faster than the slowest person.

Marlene said...

This post made me laugh!

Hope the wine and nutter butters helped. :)

X-Country2 said...

As if you couldn't get any awesomer, you hate Oprah. :o)

Irene said...

Ugh on the doctor! Ugh, ugh, ugh! Perhaps you should have done the big baby act... Maybe he would have ordered some tests. I dunno, having been there myself. It's hard to second guess the doctors, sometimes.

Oprah? Meh. Yeah, she's done a lot but does it always have to be about her?

I think I like you more now. :)

teacherwoman said...

Oh hun, I hopes it's not a stress fracture. How frustrating. I am hoping for the best for you!

rachel said...

i hope you know that since O and i are now BFFs, i'm calling her and telling her exactly where aid station 7 is....

but hey, if provoking you and causing you to threaten dog poop and vomit is the way to get you up here, i'll take it! (okay, not really...'cause i honestly could care less about her; though you have to admit the black eyed peas dance was pretty much the coolest thing since nutter butters and spilled wine)

no more pics of james taylor, i promise. though i could stream his delightful music into your room as you're asleep....muah ha ha!!!

rachel said...

oh, and by the way...you won't want to leave...EVER.

(probably only if i don't follow through with my threats, which i would never do anyway...but i will surely introduce you to all things wonderful about chicago...i'm good for that.)

rachel said...

oh! oh! AND....this is why you have to love me despite the fact that i've muddled your twitter page with all things horrid: because i thought in advance to call and make reservations at the local brewery for a nice little sunday afternoon tour & tasting. it's pretty much amazing.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

that's all the doc did? you already knew that stuff. sigh.

Ace said...

"bat piss crazy" is the technical term that aptly describes the 'o'. lol. Big Blaahg points to you!

Irish Cream said...

HAHAHA, you kill me!

Sorry the doc wasn't really all that helpful :( I hope you can get this foot thing under control soon!

X-Country2 said...

Bummer you won't be healed for the KC half, but yay for the Gobbler Grind! Have you done it before? I did the full last year, and it's a nice little organized race. There wasn't much fanfare at the end, but it was lovely.

onelittletrigirl said...

Not an Oprah fan either!!

lindsay said...

that really stinks about the doc visit and non-answers :-/ hopefully a little rest will be it all it needs? :(

Jess said...

That's hilarious!

RunToFinish said...

well I do actally like oprah, but hey some things just can't be helped.

sorry about the final news...but i hope that wine helped!