Wednesday, September 22, 2010

three weeks to chicago. and do over.

Word on the street is that there have been some rough running weeks in blahggie land lately. Not gonna lie. That makes me feel 100% better about my current running week. Which is turning out to be less than stellar. Both physically and emotionally. I know mostly it's due to a lot of miles crammed into a seven day period last week, some added life stress, lack of sleep and just general anxiety and fears over the upcoming 'm.' I've been trying to overlook my concerns about my third attempt to finally run a marathon well. And as of this morning I couldn't do it anymore. In fact I turned into a secretly grumpy runner during a 10 miler group run and ended up balling my eyes out afterwards on my way home. I feel weak. And lame.

WHAT? ME? Crying after a run because I'm totally frustrated and exhausted? Shocking, I know.

Don't worry, I also sure did break my "no starbucks for six weeks commitment" that I have going right now. After that run, with tears rolling down my face, I stopped by Starbucks. I had totally caved in my little head by mile seven during the run this morning thinking 'screw it.' That caramel machiatto was REALLY good, by the way. Really, really good. Um, yes I admit I have a small problem (coughahem addiction) with Starbucks.

I suppose the good thing is that I know, I mean, I KNOW deep down I'm going to be fine while running Chicago. I've done the work, and I know my body won't fail me at mile 25 this time. But the demons of marathons past are trying really hard to get in my head and I've been fighting it with every ounce I have so far. Somehow this week they got to me. Over the weeks of training for this marathon I've kept waiting for the anvil to drop. For the freak outs to set in, for the anxiety and unnerving feelings to begin. For the ever faithful running injury to hit. Or those feelings that I have to do "something" in this marathon whether a time goal or with training, to arrive. Wondering if I'll be able to hold myself together or if my training will pay off. Those are all the things I'm now currently worrying about, among others. The good news is that the injuries have not arrived. I guess I'll take these silly emotional issues over an actual injury.

In the end, despite my bad running week, I feel like running Chicago is my do over. It's a chance to take a third shot at running my first marathon in a way. The OKC races were blips of lessons learned, a lot of very closely guarded heartache and physical pain. Something I'll always remember. Maybe not fondly, but I'll always remember them. For the beat down of lessons they handed me. But somehow Chicago feels different. Despite what I'm feeling this week, at least my head is solid enough to realize that fact. Now if the rest of me would just follow suit, and stop the minor freak outs, worrying and ridiculous emotional outbursts in the form of crying in front of complete strangers, I'll be good to go. Just 17 more days and it's on.

My verbal diarrhea is complete. Pretty sure I'll be back in kick-ass mode soon enough. My doubts and fears are normal, and I know it's mostly due to extra stress and fatigue in my life right now. We all have these types of weeks before a marathon, right? RIGHT??!! (just say right. please).

What really matters is that I know deep down Chicago is my 'm' do over. And I really am excited to experience it.

Week 12 - Chicago Training
Tuesday = 5.5 miles
Wednesday = 10 miles
Thursday = 4 miles
Saturday = 20 miles

Total = 39.5 miles

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

best part of my day.

Best part of my day which started at 3:45a mind you, and yeah it's such an early start I want to announce it on my blog. Because it's just a stupid time to wake up in the morning. But I did it, and I clearly need to share that with the world because it's such a BIG DEAL!

Moving on. Pretty sure anything in my day won't top the picture that was taken (quite well coughahem by "coach scott," nice photog skills COACH) with Hannah and I around 5a this morning.
We look like 12-year-olds skipping along during recess. Except apparently I lost my pants somewhere in those first four miles (of 10). Don't worry, I promise I AM wearing some. Awkward. I haven't yet stopped laughing at that picture. Which is why I had to share, and which is also why it will totally be the highlight of my day. Enjoy. We have no shame. Oh and yes, if you're wondering, we are in fact holding hands. What of it?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

four weeks to chicago. and life.

I'm beating myself up because I really wanted to keep a GOOD blog record for me and me alone regarding my Chicago training. That's been a total fail. Sigh. But there is no time like the present to try and get back on the 'training log' horse and leave posts about my training for future me. So future me, here you go. A recap of the past three weeks of training.

I've had some bumps in my training road, sometimes I wonder if they are self inflicted because of procrastination, lack of sleep and bad planning on my part (highly likely). But some things during training have been out of my control, like trying to keep my body healthy and away from injury, dealing with things like sinus infections, spending time with my family and keeping my social life (all things i refuse to compromise at this point for some marathon). Oh and that little thing I do called working full time during the week and teaching college at night. You know, the stuff most normal runners deal with. Real LIFE.

All in all, despite the bumps in my training road, I've been happy with the number of miles I've been logging. I may not be hitting my long runs like I've wanted, or as many miles as I've wanted, but my weekly mileage is still surpassing that of any previous marathon training cycle. That fact alone is helping me cope with the long run sabotage I've been dealing with. And it could very well be self-sabotage on the long run thing, I'm that kind of girl. I sub-consciously and unknowingly sabotage areas of my life because I am either scared sh!tless or worried about failure. It's a problem. I just hope someone else out there does this. Well I know a few people who do, but they aren't runners. So I mean in regard to running, natch.

Does anyone else accidentally self-sabotage your training? Hmmmmm. I'm not much of a blahggie question asker, but I really mean this one. I'm curious.

Moving on. So here is some TMI (especially for any male readers, i apologize) some of my long run sabotage has come in the form of that pesky female friend most girls get. The thing is, most female runners don't get THAT problem once they start training for marathons. Not me, I have huge issues and unfortunately that's what sabotaged my long run this weekend. What was supposed to be 20 miler ended up being 14 tear and pain (in the form of female stomach cramps) filled miles ending with me vomiting on the side of the street, sitting on a curb and calling the Edder to come and pick me up. Good stuff. Did I mention that it sucks? So there was that issue to contend with this weekend.

However, like I said, despite my long runs either not happening or not being as long as I want it's all good. I'm okay with it. I'm not running Chicago to beat any times or be a bad ass. I just want to finish strong and be able to actually RUN it. With my friends. I realized this weekend that at this time last year I was hobbling around on crutches with my second stress fracture and at a pretty low point in my life. I realized that I've gone all year without a major injury, I've had my blips of hip and calf issues yes, but nothing like being sidelined for months on end while gaining 17 pounds in a depressed stupor (yeah, that was me last fall). Wow, I'm on an honesty kick today.

My point is I am not injured and I'm getting ready to run my second marathon of the year. That's a pretty huge success for this girl who isn't built or made for long distance running. I've decided and realized my threshold is around 16 miles, I think I'm meant to be a half marathoner, and I plan to focus on that after Chicago. Big time. As in starting to get faster and pop off PRs in half marathons and 10Ks, as much as possible. But that's a different blog post.

Enough of the TMI and honesty. Let's get to the running shall we. The past three weeks training:

Week 9 - Chicago Training
Tuesday - 4 miles
Wednesday - 6 miles
Thursday - 4 miles
Saturday - 19 miles
Total = 33 miles

August monthly mileage total = 120.77

Week 10 - Chicago Training (we aren't going to talk about this week, shhhh)
Tuesday - 4 miles
Wednesday - 6 miles
Friday - 6 miles
Saturday - 6 miles
Total = 22 miles (FAIL)

Week 11 - Chicago Training
Monday - 7 miles
Wednesday - 8 miles
Thursday - 6 miles
Saturday - 2 miles
Sunday - 14.31 miles
Total = 37.31 miles

Monday, September 13, 2010

best part of my day.

Unless something very important disrupts me (i.e. offer of delicious food), ninety-nine percent of my Monday lunches are spent doing yoga at the Y. Sometimes The Lawyer and Shelley my Chicago training buddy join, sometimes not. Either way, the past few Mondays I get to witness something that makes my Mondays so much better. You see, the yoga studio and aerobics class studio are right next to each other in a hallway. So when leaving the yoga studio you have to pass by the aerobics studio and you can see in a few windows as you walk by. It used to be there was nothing to see... Until recently.

Now, and without fail, there is a one man party going on in that aerobics studio. Lights off, techno music pumping and oh my are there furious movements happening. FURIOUS! But just the one guy. Alone. Last week he was doing the running man, it was spectacular. And it is really hard not to just stop and stare at this fantastical sight. I think he's caught me/us gawking before.

But here's the thing. As entertaining as it is to stare at the one man party, I kind of envy him. He has got to know people are gawking at whatever the hell it is he's doing and he doesn't seem to care one bit. With all the passers by he just keeps at it. Doing the running man, hiking those knees up, kicking, punching, more dancing and flailing... all quite shamelessly. And FURIOUSLY! I mean, don't you envy that guy and the kind of guts it takes to do that? I do. A lot.

Next week I kinda want to slap on a mauve and teal striped leotard and a puffy glittery headband and go and join him. Because seeing that after yoga totally made my day.

In other news. OH WOW Chicago is a month away. I just peed a little (the nervous kind mind you)....

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

best part of my day.

Another really good early morning run with an amazing group of runners. Seriously, I lucked out finding them.

Also, the fact that I deemed it running prom morning for myself. Mostly because I literally had zero clean regular running clothes. Interwebs, what you get when you take a tired FWR + 4:30a wake up call + 6 miles with a running group + hardly any clean running clothes (you know those ones you leave until the end, that you only wear when you have no more clean running clothes or that you only wear for races)... running prom. That's what you get. Me. In way too fancy for a 5a six miler running gear . Next time I'm whipping out the bedazzler! And slapping a tiara on my head. Oh, don't think I won't.

That is all.